Love, Peace & Tranquility

Sunday, July 24, 2011

wheres all u hopes...

wheres all the courage n always striving for me..

where is the guy which is always trying to b in my heart..

always goes the extra miles and do everything for me..

wheres the guy who will never stop loving n caring for me...

where is he..

he has juz let me go never there anymore..

im sorry but idk why..

i juz felt empty.. worthless..

n idk why tears keep falling off my cheeks coz of this..

i noe i wanted this..

haix bt i cnt believe that u actually stop everything this way..

idk i noe ure strong n uve been hurt alot coz of me..

all this while ive been hurt too

ive been suffering too bt i guess its juz my destiny..

ill always be suffering to live..

haix.. i juz feel hpeless n sad that u finally

juz let go of me without even trying ur best again..

u juz stop? why?

i noe its the best for you n for me..

im sorry bt it juz hurts me

:"(

sobs sobs :'(

i juz dun understand myself..

idk wat shld i do n wats right for me..

he has been soo soo special n great to me..

he had done everything for me.. everything like even the most impossible thing

he had strive damn hard for me n nvr did give up

haix all i wanted was him to stop and for

only myself to be happy with haffis..

n not even thinking abthes feeling..

ive hurt him alot like damn alot bt he still try to put up that

smile for me and still takes care of me..

haix idk.. after that tuesday wen haffis me and ray

sat dwn n talk.. things were all gone..

haix.. idk this is wat i waant bt

i juz dun understand why im feeling sad and always worried for him

ive never forget all the memories we had..

n ive nvr stop caring for him..

how cn i be soo mean n so heartless..

like wat hes sister said..

haix..

idk sometimes i feel like im doing the right thing for my relationship with haffis

bt its juz too hurtful to hurt him..

u noe.. i really cn see frm hes eyes that hes suffering badly..

haix bt after that day i think he

kinda give up and let me go..

thats y now hes abit happier than before..

haix this is wat i want

so this is wat i get..

im juz confuse with myself..

why am i feeling sad that hes finnaly letting me go..

i juz feel that im not worth to strive for anymore..

n i juz dun mean anything more to him

truthfully.. this is the first time that im really crying for him

haix..

it juz hurt me..

it hurts me alot....

im sorry :( :'(

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

PLEASE STOP DOING THIS TO ME!!!!!

ARGH!!

let me go...

Monday, July 11, 2011

all ive ever wanted was for YOU to understand me
noe me n understand me throughly...
nver restrict me from watever i wanted
n understand me knowing wat ill do
never scold me bt guide me through..
never stop trusting me and
always b by my side...
i need u bt ure always werent there..
haix.. idk.. im sorry..

1 question..
am i even mature now..?
n wen will i ever be mature..

mybe im thinking this way coz
im still thinking like a kid..
im suffering n trying to sacrifice wat ive ever wanted..
its all coz im juz doing it..
no purpose n i never think..
will i ever be mature..?
im sick of this..
y must it always be me that is in the wrong..
:/

i still juz dun understand myself
hurm im still not sure of my self..
i thought its all over n hv ended
bt i think wrong..
idk
im tired of everything
n i eventually give up haix..
oh ya...
on the 7th july thursday during training..
i was doing ahmada vuadora
then i landed wrongly n eventually
twisted my knee n i couldnt walk..
now my leg is on cast..
stupid me.. i feel so useless being this way n i hate this...
haix.. i cant perform i cant meet my frens..
wats this..
and
HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSE TO CATCH UP WITH MY
STUDIES!!!
ill b totally lost n this sucks!!
:'(
oh ya i was given an MC for like 1 month!!!
1MONTH!!!!
thats freaking long!!
longest MC ever!!
argh!!